Maybe it’s time for me to take my “bloggy” and go home.

Why in the world am I writing this blog? 

I thought the answer was that I am writing for me. 
Well if that is so, why am I posting my blog to the world? I could write privately and never share this.  I never need to post it on Facebook or Twitter.  But I am.  Doesn’t that mean that I am no longer writing for me?  That must mean I am writing for others.

Others?  What others?  In case you hadn’t noticed, my blog doesn’t contain a place for feedback or comments, mostly because I don’t want to hear negativity about my writing or my life or my children.  I am not writing for therapy or psychoanalysis.  If you don’t like what I am writing about or who I am, or you don’t agree with me, then you just don’t need to read it and I don’t need to hear your “recommendations”. My blog is not a “forum” where I am soliciting parenting advice or editorials.  So….

Why am I writing this blog again?

I read a lot of other blogs.  There are millions of mommy bloggers out there.  Each one writing about their opinions, their lives, their children but in a myriad of ways.  It appears to me that the most popular blogs are sarcastic - written in a tone with a bite to it or mocking something or someone all glamorized with colorful foul language.  None of that will ever be me.  So my conclusion – I will never be popular to read. So….

Why am I writing this blog again?

I don't want to put alot of credence on numbers or followers and lose my original intent or perspective because I got side-tracked by other blogs with more followers or awards or recommendations or blah blah blah... So...

Why am I writing this blog again?

I put my feelings out there and tell my stories from the bottom of my heart – I say things that I would be embarrassed to tell most people.  I confess the truth and project my emotions in black and white on the screen for all to see.  I hit the send key and hold my breath.  So…

Why am I writing this blog again?

I am not making a cent off of this blog.  No one is paying me anything.  I chose not to put “sharing” options or run any ads.  I felt strongly that it was about the words.  Just the words.  I didn’t want anything on the page distracting from the words.  So if it isn’t going to produce monetary income…

Why am I writing this blog again?

I am not going to write according to what I think people want to read.  What I think they want to hear.  I’m not going to adapt my style to find an audience or a “market”. So…

Why am I writing this blog again?

I want to write from a place of humility, compassion and understanding.  I want to write from a point of finding universal feelings of parents where someone who thinks they are alone in their thoughts – will find that they aren’t.  That someone else understands.  But I can’t find those people specifically – So…

Why am I writing this blog again?

I just counted and as of this word – I have used the word “I” 50 times.  Perhaps this blog is nothing more than a self indulgent waste of time where I have deemed myself more important than I am. So…

Why am I writing this blog again?

I just want to make a difference.  I would like to think that my experiences that I’ve been through might help someone else.  So if I help someone – even one person …

I guess I just remembered why I am writing this blog again…

If you found this - then YOU are the reason I am writing this blog. Because you see, I never "tweeted" this blog post. I never posted it on Facebook. If you are reading this - it is simply because you read my blogs. You follow them on your own, unprompted, because they must mean something to you.

So You, my friend, are the reason I am writing this blog again...