It's not about the number of books that fill shelves with parenting styles.

It's not about the parenting gurus who warn you that if you do such and such you will ruin your kid.

It's not about the generations before you who swear that things were better when...

It's not about the polls, surveys and data published to scare parents into believing things.

It's not about whether you breastfed or bottle fed.

It's not about standing in line for preschool registration.

It's not about living in the best school district in your county.

It's not about providing a plethora of opportunities for your child.

It's not about whether you had your first child at 20 or at age 40.

It's not about your political affiliation.

It's not about your religious beliefs.

It's not about being a working mother or stay at home mother.

It's not about your social class.

It's not about urban living versus suburban life.

You see you can spend alot of time putting way too much credence into things while you are journeying on the parenting highway.

Overthinking the process is dangerous.

Passing judgment even more treacherous.

It is very simple.

It's all about experience.

Experience is the key.

You have to live the life.

Put in your time.

Reel in the years.

Learn from your mistakes.

Reflect with honesty.

If you feel lost while you are parenting, more than likely it's because you are encountering something brand new. You have no experience to calm your spirit.

Remember how the first baby felt?

Not the same with the second.

Or the third.

And by the time you get to a fourth?

Forget about it.

Your ability to handle the situation wasn't magically changed by a pediatrician's words.

Nope - your own experience changed you.

It's okay to be inexperienced.

Most of us are most of the time.

It's okay to admit that you have no clue what to do.

It's okay to realize that you don't have the answers.

With time that will change.

After nearly 20 years, how I view things now - is drastically different than how I viewed the same things then.

I am certain that 20 years from now, I will feel differently about today's issues than I do today.

At least I hope so -

Doesn't that mean I am still growing as a human being and as a parent?

I think that is why so many parents with grown children have a few things they'd go back and do differently.

But we do the best we can with what we have at the time.

Most of the time - we have a lack of experience.

It's okay.

One day you'll look back and realize you accumulated an abundance of experience.

And you'll wonder when that happened.

That's where I am now.

I have 18 years under my belt.

It feels good.

I understand many things now.

But there was only one way to arrive at that understanding.

It's the process of living.

It's the process of learning.

It's the process of loving.

Diminish the details.

Just live.

Just learn.

Just love.