Apparently the Universe and I are not on the same schedule. Did I not make it clear that I am running a tight ship over here?
Or at least trying to...
Son #1 and Son #2 had their first day of school last Monday. On that day, I chose to begin homeschooling Son #3 and Daughter as well.
When I looked at the upcoming calendar, I saw many things that would be coming soon. So I knew I needed to get organized and moving forward with our homeschooling lessons in an orderly fashion.
But on Tuesday there was an Earthquake.
Not on the calendar.
Not even in the furthest realm of my mind of possibility.
But it doesn't matter.
Then we prepared for Hurricane Irene.
Back and forth to the boat.
Not on the calendar.
But certainly on the radar.
Here's the deal...
Son #1 is already scheduled for a surgical consultation tomorrow and then surgery on Thursday.
We planned it carefully.
We double checked the calendar.
We chose this particular timeframe because school would be closed on Friday and then again next Monday and Tuesday for the Labor Day Holiday Weekend.
I wanted him to have time to recover without having to miss too much school - it's his Senior year. That could get complicated quickly.
I scheduled his surgery in a way that he would return to school on the day that my husband and I needed to be at orientation for my daughter and her new endeavor.
From next Wednesday on I will be in a regular commuting pattern for my daughter.
So I was proactive.
I was organized.
Felt like I had all of my ducks in a row.
There were not going to be any conflicts.
But I awoke this morning beginning to feel a bit of pressure.
Stress - if you will.
Because the schedule is quite messy.
Who am I kidding - ?
It's completely whacked.
Because things happen.
That are out of my control.
But just when my chest started to tighten -
When I felt myself breathing heavily -
I had another reminder.
Last night while flipping through the television channels -
I landed upon a PBS special.
I stopped when I heard the words:
"The components of anxiety, stress, fear, and anger do not exist independently of you in the world. They simply do not exist in the physical world, even though we talk about them as if they do."
I listened to the gentleman for a while.
I thought to myself, I must be hearing this for a reason.
I would have watched longer - but my husband turned him off.
But I took those moments and those words and tucked them away. I had a feeling they came as a gift.
Rather than be stressed out that my kids are home again, that we are now behind with homeschool a mere WEEK into beginning, that my son has surgery day after tomorrow and that I have made a huge commitment with my daughter that will commence next week -
I am choosing to be thankful for the brief words I heard last night.
Stress does not exist in the physical world.
That means I will not let it exist in my emotional world.
Even if those words only get me through today, it is one less day that I carried the weight and burden of the concept of stress.
I choose to accept that I was given a very quick lesson at the beginning of this school year.
A lesson that I continue to need tutoring in.
I am not in control.
I fooled myself into believing it again.
Because I made phone calls.
Wrote things on a calendar.
But in less than one week -
The earth quaked.
The ocean roared.
My silly calendar means nothing.
One of these days I will get this right.
Today the kids are all home.
Not in my control.
Today the sun is shining.
Not in my control.
But since they ARE home and the sun IS shining -
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING is what I choose to do with those gifts I have been given today.
I am certainly not going to allow stress to become something tangible since that guy on television reminded me that it isn't.
And to be perfectly honest -
A ride with the top down;
A visit to the sea;
A scoop of ice cream;
All sound like much more fun than what I had on my agenda for today.
Certainly much more soothing for my soul.
Probably just what the Universe had in mind.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4.