I've been up since 5:00 am this Saturday morning.
But I'm not worried.
I've given myself permission to be sick this weekend.
I've been catching a nasty head cold for the past four days.
But it hasn't stopped me from doing all that I need to do.
Because that is what Moms do.
We keep going.
Last night I hit a wall.
After driving Daughter to and from school for 4 hours and taking Son #3 shopping for 2 hours, cleaning out the refrigerator, running the vacuum, emptying the dishwasher, going to test drive a new car... I made a declaration.
I am sick.
I do not feel well.
My head feels like it is in a vice.
I will not be doing anything else this weekend until I am feeling better.
I am going to rest.
Blow my nose.
Drink hot liquids.
Suck on cough drops.
And I am pretty sure - that is about it.
I always try to press on.
Get through it.
But I just end up irritated.
In a doctor's office on an antibiotic.
I don't know what it is about me that makes me so arrogant to think that I am superwoman and should keep on keepin' on.
After all, I am the Mother that takes care of her sick family.
Gives the advice about resting.
Telling them they can't go and do.
Forcing them to bring their lives to a halt so they can recover.
Yet - I don't take care of myself that way.
I act as if no one else but me can handle things.
As if I am the only capable human being in this house.
As if it is wrong for me to be sick and just stop for a while.
I hear women all of the time complain about how badly they feel but they keep on going.
Why don't we ask for help?
Someone else can pitch in.
Really. It's okay.
So this morning - when I woke up at 5 - I decided I wasn't going to feel pressure to try to get some more sleep.
...I will take a nap later today if I need to.
So I gave myself permission to get up -
Perhaps I shall even whine a little.
I know I need to go to the grocery store but it's not happening today...
or possibly tomorrow.
Pretty sure no one will die from malnutrition if they have to eat peanut butter and jelly and cereal a few times.
It's not like my kids care if I wash their clothes, they just wear them dirty over and over unless I yell at them anyhow.
Sorry today is just not a good day for me to entertain friends or neighborhood kids in the house. Besides the sun is out - they should play outside in the fresh air. Otherwise they can lay like a lump on the couch with me while I watch my movie marathon today.
It does feel good to just say it.
And I'm not going to be doing ANYTHING except take care of myself this weekend.
Not even feel the tiniest bit guilty...
Now that I've gotten over myself, maybe I can get over this cold.
"IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER: I would have gone to bed when I was sick, instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day." ~ Erma Bombeck