Leftovers.

I am guilty of giving them to my family.

In fact, I have been doing it for far too long.

I go out into the world - smile and chat.

Head held high.

Manners.

Social graces.

Small talk.

Patience.

Humor.

Compassion.

I listen to others.

Intently.

Give advice.

Lend a shoulder.

Be a friend.

Be a stranger.

Whatever I am -

I give my best.

Best foot forward.

I want you to like me.

Approve.

Judge me positively.

But when I come home?

To my family I give the leftovers.

What's left of all of those things.

And its not much.

To those that I love,

I give less.

To those that give me their unconditional loyalty,

I give less.

To those that need me more than anyone,

I give less.

I would never serve leftovers to a stranger.

Why?

Because they are gross.

Nothing tastes the same the second time.

Things dry out.

Become stale.

Tasteless.

You can try to add salt - but it's just a cover.

Leftovers stink.

But to my family - I have been serving them for a long time.

Why?

Because it is easy.

It is easy to take off the mask when you are home.

To be grouchy.

To feel tired.

Or drained.

But not anymore.

Things are changing.

I will be different.

My family will be what I serve to the greatest of my ability.

They deserve more.

The china.

The crystal.

The silver.

All freshly prepared not moderately warmed.

My full attention.

My greatest happiness.

My overflowing patience.

Eager to engage.

My whole heart.

I will listen closely.

Hug them tightly.

Love them deeply.

I am ashamed that I haven't been doing this.

I have made bad choices.

I chose the world over my family.

A world that doesn't give me what my family does.

I chose my reputation over my family.

A reputation that means nothing compared to what my family thinks of me.

I chose to put other people's interests before my family's.

Sorry, World -

tonight I am serving YOU

Leftovers.

And it looks like they could be on the menu for a very long time...

"A sentence from Psalm 101 has been both challenging and convicting for me: 'I will walk in my house with blameless heart' (Psalm 101-2, NIV). When God speaks to me about being more loving, this verse reminds me to make application in my family first—and then to others. It forces me to ask, 'Am I more spiritual, more loving, or more fun somewhere else? Who gets my best—my family or others?'"

-- Jean Fleming, A Mother’s Heart