Want to know a secret?
I am tired.
I don't mean tired in a physical manner.
Not from cleaning and cooking and all of those things Moms do.
I mean tired from the innermost point of my soul.
The kind of tired that you wonder how you will get up and meet the challenges awaiting you today.
The kind of tired where you feel like if you started to cry, you aren't sure that you could stop.
Have you ever felt that kind of tired?
If you have a teenager, I can bet you have felt this feeling.
Exhausted beyond all measure.
It is a long drawn out battle for sure.
Everything is a challenge or an argument.
A question of your intelligence.
An arrogant attitude.
Snide comments and slamming doors.
But you wouldn't dare tell anyone would you?
Well, I am here telling you -
I am spent.
But each day I must rise and say I will do this because
I have to.
It's my job.
A job that during some periods seems thankless.
Certainly without pay.
Always free from vacation time or sick leave.
I can't give two weeks notice or search the want ads hoping that something better might come along.
Nope. I have to get up and go do my job every day.
It doesn't matter what opposition faces me when I get there.
It doesn't matter how cruel the words or disrespectful the actions.
It doesn't matter how many times I have been hurt, lied to or belittled.
There is no human resources department to report anything to.
No mediator that is going to come help my child see the light.
That would be my job too.
I have to remain steadfast and see it through to completion.
In fact, I have to get up and forgive each prior trespass so that I can keep moving forward.
So we all can continue to move forward.
I have to continue to smile and speak kindly.
To remain calm and collected.
To not let the emotional roller coaster deter me from my job.
I have come to the realization that right now in this particular stage of life -
I am the roadblock.
I am the thing that stands between them and disaster.
You see, a teenager sees the sign that says "Danger Up Ahead" -
But believes it won't be a problem for them.
They are somehow special.
I am walking a very fine line.
I am the tight rope walker.
Walking the line between letting them find their own way,
And being the one in charge of rejecting their hasty decisions.
It is a stressful job to walk a tight rope twenty fours hours a day, seven days a week.
But if I get tired - and lose my balance -
It's not just me that falls.
I am responsible for someone else.
Someone who wishes that I wasn't responsible for him.
Someone who sees me as the enemy.
I've decided that times like this in parenting call for a new outlook.
Slow and steady.
Life cannot be racing from one place to the next.
Filling the calendar with lots of things.
Pushing my supermom ability to the max.
To be a real supermom in the adolescent stage -
I have to slow things WAY down.
It requires a relentless pursuit.
Driven by love.
Completely out of love.
How do I know this?
Because love is the only fuel that could possibly keep this mother going.
Love is the only motivation that I have.
Love that is formed in the supernatural world.
Because raising teens requires supernatural strength.
So, to my son, you can challenge me to whatever test of strength you like -
I will prevail.
Because I love you.
"Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope." - Maya Angelou